Things I'm grateful for:

Things I'm grateful for (in no particular order):
  1. Thirteen wonderful years of marriage with Scott. Some bumpy years, but we definitely tried to learn from those experiences.
  2. A wonderful daughter - Jaelyn.  She is so caring toward others.  Jaelyn has a wonderful sense of humor.  I love her so much and am so proud of her.
  3. A home that is paid for (no rent, no mortgage).  Thankful that this was important to Scott and we accomplished this about six months ago.
  4. No debt.
  5. Jaelyn was not with Scott when he died.  Scott was so active with Jaelyn and I am extremely thankful that Jaelyn does not have to deal with being with Scott when he died.
  6. Scott is in heaven.  Scott was private about his faith and was most often behind the scenes in ministry -- helping others quietly and without notice or acknowledgement.
  7. Scott had life insurance.
  8. Scott planned for the future.  As I've said in previous posts, Scott planned aggressively and with risk (at least in my mind) for the future, and often had to push or pull me along in the process, yet without his creative and aggressive thinking financially, we wouldn't have been able to pay off our home this year.
  9. I already had a good full-time job with insurance (one less large change, few immediate financial fears).  As much as I would have preferred to be a stay-at-home mom, I am grateful that I was not at the time of Scott's death.  His death is a big enough change for us, without having to worry about me finding employment, health insurance, and the huge change that would have been in our life if I would have had to go from staying at home to full-time employment.
  10. Friends who encourage me to be present in the grief and not suppress it.  Thanks to the friends who have handed me tissues, given me books, and simply encouraged me to cry when I need to.
  11. Support from family, friends, church, work, new friends, and even people I have never met.  It has been overwhelming the offers of support and support provided from everyone, including people I have never met. 
  12. Constant prayers from family, friends, and strangers.  I am so appreciative of these prayers.  Without them, I believe that Jaelyn and I would be struggling so much more.  We are still taking things moment by moment.  Evenings/nights and weekends are still the most difficult.  Church is particularly difficult as singing praise and worship music about heaven and God really bring the emotions to the surface -- thinking about Scott, what he is experiencing right now, and our loss.
  13. Good memories, with lots of pictures and videos.  So thankful for the recovered memories from Jaelyn's first year of life that I thought were lost forever on a crashed hard drive. 
  14. Reliable vehicle
  15. Awesome and supportive parents -- I know that this has not been easy for them, bringing back a fresh look at the grief over my brother's death nine years ago.  They have been amazing, helping in any way that they can.  I love you mom and dad!
  16. Facebook -- so much encouragement and support has been expressed and it has been so important to me.  I have said frequently in the past couple of weeks that I don't know how people get through things like this without facebook -- specifically the ease of communication with friends and family all over the world -- it makes the world feel so much smaller and the support and encouragement has been amazing.  I haven't had time to respond to all the notes, encouragements, etc that I have received on facebook, but rest assured that I read every word and often shed tears as I am reading them.


 

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