Showing posts from December, 2015

Reflections from Shadow's death

This week as we made the painful decision to say goodbye to Shadow I have been reflecting on saying goodbye to Scott.  I realize that the situations are vastly different, but both have the universality of death.  I think Scott’s death has shaped the decisions that we have made with Shadow.  One major difference is that with Scott’s death we had no warning and with Shadow’s death it was an uncertain time frame due to the uncertain speed of the tumor.  I talked with my mom about the stress of an impending death with the uncertainty of time frame.  It left us in a constant feeling of being suspended, waiting and watching for the end.  That uncertainty took its toll, at times just wishing for it to be over, yet in the next breath feeling guilty for wishing Shadow was gone.  So many of our memories of Shadow and Scott are tied up together, so losing Shadow was like losing a chunk of Scott’s heart — he loved Shadow so much.  I have thought about how hard this would have been for him, facing…