Lori's Rambling

As the weather gets nicer and warmer I find myself thinking about and missing Scott more.   Scott loved Spring and Fall the most, as he loved being outdoors.   Whenever I am out in our yard, I find myself thinking about Scott and wishing he were here.    I find myself drawn to sit on the deck in the evening, yet it often makes me want to cry – Scott’s favorite thing was to be outside together, especially in the evening or after dark.   He loved to look at the stars and just enjoy the peace and quiet of the night.   Scott always felt closer to God when he was outside and it always lifted his spirits.   What is ironic about feeling drawn to be outside, is that as much as I like the outside, the negatives often overrode my desire to be outside – negatives that didn’t affect Scott – mosquitoes and bug bites.   For some reason he rarely got bug bites and if he did, they didn’t bother him.   Me, on the other hand – I am a magnet for any type of biting bug out there and the itching from t

The rush of relief and surge of emotions that swept over me when I saw the news report that the second Boston Marathon bombing suspect had been captured is indescribable.   Our nephew is a student at MIT and his girlfriend is visiting him right now.   So many prayers have been said over the last few days for their safety.   I cannot begin to imagine how much greater the relief and surge of emotions that Nando and Abby’s parents are feeling right now.   The Bradley family has had more than enough family tragedy and trauma over the past thirteen months, this stress was not needed.   I am so very thankful that God kept them safe from harm. I have heard many stories over the past few days and it seems like everyone had a personal connection of some kind to someone at the Boston Marathon, living in the Boston area, etc.   It is sad that it takes events like this, 9-11, and other tragedies to pull people together and focus on what it important.   I have seen many stories of bravery an

I was really looking forward to the nice weather this weekend, but found myself feeling down and melancholy this weekend.   The beautiful weather made me think about Scott.   He always pushed to be outside and active.   Having this beautiful weather without Scott left me feeling at loose ends, unable to get into any activity.   I really found that I was having to push myself to get out of the house, do something with Jaelyn, or spend time reading, rather than sleeping or playing mindless computer games.   This evening I found myself doing one of the things that Scott found peaceful – sitting in the backyard swinging on the swing set enjoying the sunset.   One of the things that I am thankful for in the new house is that there is a good view of the sunrise and the sunset from the back yard. With life slowing down since the move, I am finding myself with more time to sit, think, and grieve.   This week has been a roller coaster emotionally with   our anniversary and wrapping up my

Scott, My heart is just breaking today.   Today would have been our 14 th wedding anniversary.   We should have been planning a celebration.   Instead I’m visiting your grave.   While I am beyond grateful for the thirteen years that we had, today I’m struggling with the unfairness of it all.   It feels like our lives are not complete without you.   We were supposed to grow old together and spoil our grandchildren together.   You were supposed to be here to chase all the wrong guys away from Jaelyn and walk her down the aisle when that right guy comes along.   Your life ended way too soon and while I know I will see you again one day – that day feels like an eternity away.   There are so many little things that bring you to mind, a smile to my face, and tears to my eyes every day.   We are learning to move forward without you, but there are days that I don’t want to move forward.   It hurts to move forward without you.   It breaks my heart to see Jaelyn craving the male atte