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Showing posts from February, 2014

Seeing His Footsteps In The Sand

Saturday, as I was thinking about Valentine’s Day, I was trying to remember if I wrote a post last year for Valentine’s Day – my first since Scott’s death.  I began looking back and re-reading posts that I wrote in the first six months after his death.  Wow – as emotional as it was to look back, it was so encouraging.  To see how far I have come in this seemingly never ending journey was so encouraging.  I remember how dark and deep the hole of grief seemed in those first days and months.  This journey is so slow that it is difficult to see the progress as you go.  I would strongly encourage anyone in this journey to find some way of documenting it, whether it is writing, photos, drawing, or simply phrases noted on a calendar.  

It was such a blessing to see the lessons God has taught me, the ways He has blessed me, and His perfect timing in words of encouragement and grace from friends, family, and sometimes strangers.  It is such a clear documentation of His footsteps in the sand …

Daddy's Veins

Sometimes I wish I thought like a nine year old.  It would certainly help me understand Jaelyn much better and avoid saying things that are interpreted differently in a nine year old’s mind than in an adult’s mind.
Last week we began the first of many trips to a cardiologist’s office.  Because of Scott’s death, unexpectedly, at such a young age due to undiagnosed heart issues, her pediatrician wanted her to be screened before her 10th birthday.  The pediatrician and I wanted to be at least a year and a half to two years out from Scott’s death for Jaelyn’s sake emotionally.   Recently there were some tests in the family that caused us to decide to do it now rather than later, just for peace of mind. 
Once the referral was made to a cardiologist, things began happening so quickly that my head was spinning.   I began having little conversations with Jaelyn, explaining what was going to be happening and trying to explain, simply, what had caused her daddy’s death.  Her greatest anxiety…