Golden Wedding Celebration/Time = Love
Golden Wedding Celebration
Tonight Jaelyn and I went to the 50th Wedding Anniversary Celebration for my aunt and uncle. I knew that it would be a difficult evening coming on the heels so closely after Scott's death. I have come to the realization that the longer I hesitate to face painful situations, the harder it becomes to face them. So for two reasons I made the decision to attend this celebration. First, I have resolved to face painful situations head-on and secondly, I wanted to honor my aunt and uncle in their celebration of fifty years of marriage.
I wish Scott and I would have had the opportunity to celebrate fifty years together, but that wasn't to be. Having been married for thirteen years, I recognize how much work, love, and prayer go into being married for fifty years. We had our ups and downs and bumps in the road of our marriage as did my aunt and uncle, some of which they shared tonight. But because they had a deep commitment to each other and their marriage, they were able to come out with a stronger marriage and love for each other.
I know that Scott was always thinking of ways to improve himself and our marriage because he recognized that no marriage is ever perfect and every marriage requires work to keep improving. Scott and I vowed when we married that divorce was never going to be an option. Scott would joke that he skipped his first marriage and went right to his second and final marriage. Both Scott and I considered ourselves blessed that neither of our parents are divorced and both have achieved more than forty years of marriage to the same person. This is a rare accomplishment in this day and age. Both of these marriages have been tested in times of struggle -- my parents with twelve years caring for my brother following his accident and up until his death and my mom's battle with breast cancer in the midst of that -- and Scott's parents with the stroke his mother suffered five months ago. I have seen a level of love and commitment to each other through these struggles that was inspiring to both Scott and I.
Time = Love
Scott had such big dreams for our future, such as financial freedom and traveling. He had a hard time understanding that I didn't have big dreams for the future -- mine were much simpler -- I would be happy and content to have a home, him and Jaelyn. Scott valued those things as well, but was always pushing and striving for more. Our end goals were essentially the same, just viewed through different lenses. Scott felt that by dreaming big about financial freedom, this would provide time for what was truly most important to him -- spending time with the family and friends that he loved so much. He dreamed big about the journey to achieve maximum time with family, while I dreamed more about the end result. While this may sound as if Scott was a workaholic or obsessed with earning money for financial freedom, nothing could be further from the truth. Scott's top priority was to spend time with his family and friends doing something he loved to do. To Scott, time spent with someone was equal to love. He wasn't always good about verbalizing his feelings, but he always made time for those he cared about. Scott would often talk about close friends he had lost contact with and being frustrated over not having enough time to keep up with everyone he wanted to keep up with. Scott loved being around people as long as they were doing something together. He seemed to draw energy from spending time with family and friends, especially if it was outdoors or doing something crazy.
I am including a list that Scott made that I found since his death, in one of his many notebooks. I believe this was written about four or five years ago. I don't think this list would have changed much if at all, if he had written it less than a year ago.
The Perfect Day
A - Get sleep
B - Wake up singing favorite song
C- This day is a gift from God
D - Praise God, go for 30 minute bike ride with puppy
E - Pray for a good day, play game with family
F - Sing two songs with family
G- Play volleyball for two hours
H - Eat an unhealthy lunch
I - play cards for two hours
J - Play tennis in afternoon
K - Do meaningful devotions
L - Dream about Heaven and being with God
M - Write some poetry and political satire
N - Play more volleyball
O - Go watertubing
P - Go Kayaking for hour
Q - Write love song and be romantic on beach or scenic lake
R - Play Risk or Pit with friends.
S - Eat Lori's homemade salsa
T - play and be silly with ten kids, be imaginative
U - Be afraid of nothing
V - Give and receive a 2 hour massage
W - Go for five mile walk with close friends (George, Bill)
X - Believe God works in every second of life
Y - Make 10 friends happy
Z - Smile all day even if I have to fake it.
AA - Repeat this day again!
Tonight Jaelyn and I went to the 50th Wedding Anniversary Celebration for my aunt and uncle. I knew that it would be a difficult evening coming on the heels so closely after Scott's death. I have come to the realization that the longer I hesitate to face painful situations, the harder it becomes to face them. So for two reasons I made the decision to attend this celebration. First, I have resolved to face painful situations head-on and secondly, I wanted to honor my aunt and uncle in their celebration of fifty years of marriage.
I wish Scott and I would have had the opportunity to celebrate fifty years together, but that wasn't to be. Having been married for thirteen years, I recognize how much work, love, and prayer go into being married for fifty years. We had our ups and downs and bumps in the road of our marriage as did my aunt and uncle, some of which they shared tonight. But because they had a deep commitment to each other and their marriage, they were able to come out with a stronger marriage and love for each other.
I know that Scott was always thinking of ways to improve himself and our marriage because he recognized that no marriage is ever perfect and every marriage requires work to keep improving. Scott and I vowed when we married that divorce was never going to be an option. Scott would joke that he skipped his first marriage and went right to his second and final marriage. Both Scott and I considered ourselves blessed that neither of our parents are divorced and both have achieved more than forty years of marriage to the same person. This is a rare accomplishment in this day and age. Both of these marriages have been tested in times of struggle -- my parents with twelve years caring for my brother following his accident and up until his death and my mom's battle with breast cancer in the midst of that -- and Scott's parents with the stroke his mother suffered five months ago. I have seen a level of love and commitment to each other through these struggles that was inspiring to both Scott and I.
Time = Love
Scott had such big dreams for our future, such as financial freedom and traveling. He had a hard time understanding that I didn't have big dreams for the future -- mine were much simpler -- I would be happy and content to have a home, him and Jaelyn. Scott valued those things as well, but was always pushing and striving for more. Our end goals were essentially the same, just viewed through different lenses. Scott felt that by dreaming big about financial freedom, this would provide time for what was truly most important to him -- spending time with the family and friends that he loved so much. He dreamed big about the journey to achieve maximum time with family, while I dreamed more about the end result. While this may sound as if Scott was a workaholic or obsessed with earning money for financial freedom, nothing could be further from the truth. Scott's top priority was to spend time with his family and friends doing something he loved to do. To Scott, time spent with someone was equal to love. He wasn't always good about verbalizing his feelings, but he always made time for those he cared about. Scott would often talk about close friends he had lost contact with and being frustrated over not having enough time to keep up with everyone he wanted to keep up with. Scott loved being around people as long as they were doing something together. He seemed to draw energy from spending time with family and friends, especially if it was outdoors or doing something crazy.
I am including a list that Scott made that I found since his death, in one of his many notebooks. I believe this was written about four or five years ago. I don't think this list would have changed much if at all, if he had written it less than a year ago.
The Perfect Day
A - Get sleep
B - Wake up singing favorite song
C- This day is a gift from God
D - Praise God, go for 30 minute bike ride with puppy
E - Pray for a good day, play game with family
F - Sing two songs with family
G- Play volleyball for two hours
H - Eat an unhealthy lunch
I - play cards for two hours
J - Play tennis in afternoon
K - Do meaningful devotions
L - Dream about Heaven and being with God
M - Write some poetry and political satire
N - Play more volleyball
O - Go watertubing
P - Go Kayaking for hour
Q - Write love song and be romantic on beach or scenic lake
R - Play Risk or Pit with friends.
S - Eat Lori's homemade salsa
T - play and be silly with ten kids, be imaginative
U - Be afraid of nothing
V - Give and receive a 2 hour massage
W - Go for five mile walk with close friends (George, Bill)
X - Believe God works in every second of life
Y - Make 10 friends happy
Z - Smile all day even if I have to fake it.
AA - Repeat this day again!
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