Shadow Effect

Today has been a physically exhausting day.  I believe it is the adrenaline crash after the excitement and stress of Shadow's sudden illness last night.  When Jaelyn and I got home last night and found Shadow so impaired, I feared the worse.  I wasn't sure what was wrong, but was sure that we were facing the end for her.  All I kept thinking was, "God, haven't we had enough, isn't it bad enough that we lost Scott and now when we are preparing ourselves for the challenge of facing the anniversary of Scott's death, we have to face losing Shadow."  I have to admit that it was the angriest I have found myself in this grief journey. 

Before my dad and I left to take Shadow to the vet last night I prepared Jaelyn for the possibility that as serious as Shadow's condition looked, Shadow may not be coming back home.  While we have talked in general terms about Shadow getting older and not having many more years left, when the reality of possibly losing Shadow hit, it hit both of us hard.  I know that our emotions are running higher with the anniversary looming close.  Shadow has been a part of Jaelyn's life since birth and holds a very special place in Jaelyn's heart. 

I am thankful for a calm, patient, and caring vet that took his time with Shadow and us last night.  I am thankful for being able to get the positive prognosis to Jaelyn before she went to bed and for the relief on her face when she saw Shadow after she woke up this morning.  I am grateful for the love and patience of Shadow, who has been the most wonderful dog in the world -- and that she still has time left for us to enjoy her company.

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