Legacy of Love
A year ago today, you were still with us. The possibility of you being gone the next day never crossed our thinking. In such a short amount of time our world came crashing down around us. There is still shock and disbelief that you are gone. Yet, we are moving forward. We remember you constantly and miss your smile, crazy sense of humor, zany sense of adventure, spontaneity, and love and loyalty toward your family and friends. You never hesitated to find a way to help a friend in need, without need or desire for recognition, often helping anonymously.
We miss you so much and you have changed all of us for the better for having known you and been loved by you. We dreamed of a long life together, but God had other plans. I still struggle to see a reason and a purpose from your death. I realize that I may never see that until I see things from that side of heaven.
I am thankful that there is no pain and sadness in heaven, that you can see the whole picture and how God will make beauty from the darkness we have and are going through. One thing I have learned -- walking through the darkness makes the light even more amazingly beautiful. I treasure the light more for facing the darkness.
Tomorrow we will celebrate your life, not your death, and remember all the fun times and good memories. This is the hardest thing I have ever faced in my life. Figuring out how to more forward, what moving forward looks like, and figuring out how to help Jaelyn in that process too has been the most challenging task I have ever had to face. I pray for help in this journey every single day and it is only by the grace and wisdom of God that we have come as far as we have.
I love you still and always will. Twelve years together was not enough. We certainly had our ups and downs over those years, but I would not take one of them away. Twelve years of learning, adjusting, and working on our marriage, with the future looking bright, I still wonder, "why, especially why now?" But I know that there is never a "good" time; time always feels too short. I can see times when things would have been worse if you have been taken then. I am grateful that Jaelyn is old enough to have her own memories of you to treasure. And she definitely treasures those memories. She misses you in such a huge way. No one can fill your spot in her life.
We miss you so much and you have changed all of us for the better for having known you and been loved by you. We dreamed of a long life together, but God had other plans. I still struggle to see a reason and a purpose from your death. I realize that I may never see that until I see things from that side of heaven.
I am thankful that there is no pain and sadness in heaven, that you can see the whole picture and how God will make beauty from the darkness we have and are going through. One thing I have learned -- walking through the darkness makes the light even more amazingly beautiful. I treasure the light more for facing the darkness.
Tomorrow we will celebrate your life, not your death, and remember all the fun times and good memories. This is the hardest thing I have ever faced in my life. Figuring out how to more forward, what moving forward looks like, and figuring out how to help Jaelyn in that process too has been the most challenging task I have ever had to face. I pray for help in this journey every single day and it is only by the grace and wisdom of God that we have come as far as we have.
I love you still and always will. Twelve years together was not enough. We certainly had our ups and downs over those years, but I would not take one of them away. Twelve years of learning, adjusting, and working on our marriage, with the future looking bright, I still wonder, "why, especially why now?" But I know that there is never a "good" time; time always feels too short. I can see times when things would have been worse if you have been taken then. I am grateful that Jaelyn is old enough to have her own memories of you to treasure. And she definitely treasures those memories. She misses you in such a huge way. No one can fill your spot in her life.
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