Soccer Effect

In the last two years especially of Jaelyn playing soccer, I grieve the fact that Scott isn’t here to enjoy this season of Jaelyn’s life.  He would have loved seeing her play and taken great pride in her ability and sportsmanship.  He would have been that loud parent on the side-line!  Although soccer was the one sport that Scott didn’t play growing up and despite his doubts in his ability to coach a sport he hadn’t played, Scott coached the last soccer team (indoor at the YMCA) Jaelyn played on before his death.  At that point we had no idea whether Jaelyn would stick with soccer and how much she would excel and come to love the sport. 

When Scott died I worried that she would give up the sport because it reminded her of her dad — and in the beginning that wasn’t a good thing.  She did want to give up the first season (practices for that season actually began the week of Scott’s death) after he died, but I wouldn’t allow her to quit.  That first fall and winter I pushed her to continue with soccer and to try basketball (we had always encouraged her to try different sports).  Basketball was not something she wanted to continue and hasn’t played since (other than shooting baskets).  After the beginning of that first soccer season, Jaelyn never asked again to stop playing soccer.  She has tried some other sports, but always stayed with soccer.

About three years later, an opportunity came up to take a step up from rec soccer and play more competitively  on a private team.  Jaelyn didn’t want to take that step and wanted to stay with rec.  At that time I pushed her to try out and give it one season.  If she didn’t like it at that point, she could return to rec soccer.  Please understand that this pushing on my part was because I saw the lack of confidence and willingness to step out of her comfort zone after Scott’s death, as well as the fact that if she wanted to play competitively in middle/high school, she needed to be challenged.  After the first practice with the Twelv2 team, Jaelyn told me that she loved it and wanted to stay with Twelv2 - and she has never changed her mind on that decision. She was thriving on being challenged physically in practices and games and her skills and understanding of the game improved substantially in a short amount of time.  

Last winter, the U14 Twelv2 team was short players for the second winter session.  Jaelyn was one of four players asked to play for both the U14 and the U13 Twelv2 teams.  This was a big commitment in terms of time for practices and games.  Again Jaelyn didn’t want to do it — change is scary!  All four of the players from the U13 team asked to play for the U14 team were nervous and scared (new coach, new teammates, older players).  Again — after the first games (doubleheader) with the U14 team, Jaelyn told me that she was glad that she had done it (as were the other three girls). She was nervous about playing positions that she wasn’t used to playing and not having much confidence in her ability to play different positions.  After a while, she began enjoying playing wing instead of defense. 

This fall, Twelv2 did not have anything organized, so Jaelyn returned to playing rec soccer for the fall season.  Because of the number of girls vs the number of boys for the teams, the girls that she had played soccer with for five years were split up on different teams.  Initially she struggled mentally with playing with different people and not having her “regular” defensive teammates with her.  Yet, as I have always told her, you need to step outside of your comfort zone to grow and improve.  This proved to be true again, as she has grown comfortable playing with other girls and enjoys playing offensive positions that she would not have enjoyed playing in the past.  

It broke my heart to see the loss of self-confidence in Jaelyn after Scott’s death.  Yet, soccer has been one constant over the past five plus years that has stretched her, given her confidence, and helped her to step outside of her comfort zone (with less pushing and encouraging on my part).  It has built an ability to work as a team, shake off defeat, learn from losses, and increase her work ethic to improve her abilities.  Jaelyn has been blessed with positive coaches, who have high standards, ethics, and sportsmanship.  She is surrounded by teammates who play “cleanly,” unselfishly, and with good sportsmanship. Soccer will always have a special place in my heart for what I have seen Jaelyn gain through playing the sport, the influence of her coaches, and the great friendships she has developed with her teammates.