Bittersweet

As I sit and think back over this past weekend, one word comes to mind - bittersweet.  

I think I feel that way every time we make the 4 1/2 - 5 hour trip to get together with the extended Bradley/Nottingham family.  I started joining Scott way on this trips way back in 1997 when we first started dating.  Those trips together continued, often multiple times a year, for the next fifteen years, until Scott’s death.  Due to the busyness of life, we did miss a year here and there, but tried to get there at least once a year.  

Then Jaelyn and I continued making those trips in the four years since Scott’s death.  Each time is bittersweet.  I love seeing Scott’s family, who became my family when we married, but have been so special to us and loved on us so much in the years since Scott’s death.  

I see glimpses of Scott and his personality in his cousins and other family.  This is bitter, in that it highlights that he is no longer here  —  and sweet in that it reminds us of who he was.  I found myself smiling often, with tears in my eyes, at the sound of a similar laugh, the similar humor of one of his cousins, stories being told, and the thought of how much he would have enjoyed the little kids.  He is never forgotten.

If Scott had been at this get together, there would have been at least one thing, probably two things that he would have made sure happened.  There would have been at least one table of Five Hundred organized - maybe more, and at least one game of tennis - probably more.  He always loved the big family get togethers where he could see everyone at one time and he loved his family.