47 years

47.  Today you would have been 47 years old.  You left us 6 1/2 years ago without warning.  While I take comfort in the fact that there is no sadness in heaven, I am sad for the moments and memories we “lost” with you and that you “lost” with us.  There is not a soccer game or significant event or accomplishment in Jaelyn’s life that I don’t think of you with sadness that you are “missing out.”    This is a time in her life that you would would have loved — watching her play soccer, winning awards at school, and growing into a beautiful young lady inside and out.  You would be busting out with pride of who Jaelyn is and her journey to get here, especially despite the trauma of losing you.  She has not allowed your loss to define who she is.  As much as I grieve the fact that Jaelyn doesn’t have you, I grieve the fact that you aren’t here to enjoy her growing up and maturing.  I remind her often of how much you loved her, protected her, and planned on “protecting” her from young men -- by moving where there were no boys and not allowing her to date until she was 30 years old😂.  I remind her that you would have been her most vocal fan and most likely would have embarrassed her in the process, especially at soccer games and with boys.  Jaelyn will always know who you were and how much you loved her.  Our family and friends also make sure that she hears stories about you and stories about you and her, so that she knows and remembers you — and knows and embraces the parts of her that come from you.  We will always celebrate your birthdays and your memories because you will always be a part of us.  Happy 47th birthday!  Hope you are having a wonderful birthday party in heaven!  We love you and miss you -- and will have some ice cream to celebrate your birthday!