Tulips = Hope

Tulips blooming are the epitome of spring and new life coming after a cold, hard winter.  This morning I have been thinking about the parallel I see to my grief journey.  I have come a long way in the last 3 1/2 years and I’m seeing the tulips blooming, with a shift in perspective from day-to-day to looking toward to and dreaming of the future.  And just as the snow today is a sudden, shocking plunge back into winter - even if only for a day or two — so it happens for me.  

Most days are bright and have the promise of tulips blooming and new life.  But every so often, just like this unexpected snow, something will happen that plunges me back into the cold, hard grief - even if for a short time.  Many people dream of their loved ones after their passing.  That has been a fairly rare occurrence for me, and when it happens is almost always bizarre and not true to life.  However, the last two nights I have dreamed of Scott, which was warm and comforting — until I woke up and realize that it was simply a dream, despite the fact that I could still feel his hand on my face.  The aching in those moments was literally a physical pain in the chest.


When I went outside this morning to check on my tulips in the midst of this snowstorm, expecting the worst, I was pleasantly surprised to see my tulips are sheltered by the roof overhang and are still standing proudly, showing off their colors, with just a dusting of snow on their tips and leaves.  So it is for me.  I am sheltered by God’s love and strength and He helps me to still be able to see the bright promise of new life and dreams for the future.  These difficult moments are the dusting of snow on the tips and leaves of the tulips.  It does not change the healing that God has brought about in my heart, if fact it makes it appear even more beautiful as does the snow on the tulips.  It also is a clear picture that two things that appear as if they cannot co-exist, definitely can co-exist — and with great strength where things appear fragile.  It is possible to move forward and still continue to miss Scott and grieve his loss.  Ironically, without the cold and snow, my tulips would already be done blooming.  As well, I would not be who I am and be where I am right now without loving and grieving Scott.  And that is because God makes beautiful things out of the ugly, ordinary, and difficult things, and gives great strength to the weak and fragile.




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