A Matter of Perspective

I belong to a private Facebook group for widows/widowers with young (pre-teen) children.  There are men and women who are only a few days into their journey to those who are ten + years into their journey.  There are times when things are shared that stop me in my tracks and make me assess my own journey and perspective on things.  There were some things shared this week (I cannot share details due to the confidentiality of the group) that caused me to think about my perspective on Jaelyn and the effect of her daddy's death on her life.

 I don't want her to grow up seeing herself as different and somehow damaged due to losing her dad.  I want her to see the strength and faith that she has gained due to working through and understanding her grief.  I don't want her to go through life with a "pity me" attitude because her daddy died.  I want her to focus on who/what she still has -- mom, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends who all love her very much -- and not on the one person she has lost.  This is not to say that I want her to forget her daddy and her loss -- I just don't want his loss to define her life or be the main focus of her life.

I realize that how she sees herself now and in the future falls to God, myself, and those who love her.  I pray that I never treat her as if she is somehow less than whole or fragile because of her daddy's death. I pray that pity and coddling never become part of my attitude toward her.  I pray to always recognize that her strength and faith can and will overcome anything and to always expect her strength and faith to rise up and prevail.

Why would I expect less of her because of her loss?  No, I expect more of her because of her loss.  God has given her strength and faith for a purpose.  I cannot wait to see how God uses in her life what she has learned on this journey.

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