Christmas Thoughts
It seems like Christmas commercialism starts earlier every year. This year, as most years, the increased commercialism simply makes me think about the things that really matter. As I think about Christmas as I grew up, the things that stand out in my memory are not the gifts that I thought I needed to have or even the surprise gifts that I never expected. I remember the family times spent talking about past Christmas memories. One thing that my brother and I particularly enjoyed was hearing the stories from our mom and dad of their memories Christmas growing up with their families -- those stories inevitably turn to stories of the escapades of my dad and his brothers. I still marvel after all these years of hearing his stories that he and all his siblings survived to adulthood! Every year our family's special Christmas tradition was gathering on Christmas Eve in the living room, turning out most of the lights, and reading the Christmas story together as a family. We would take turns reading the Christmas story, although in my memory, it seems like it was my turn almost every year. After spending the time reading the Christmas story and thinking about the real reason for Christmas, it tempered our excitement to open gifts. I think even as young kids my brother and I were more focused on what was truly important as a result of that time spent focusing on the Christmas story and talking with our mom and dad about the meaning of Christmas and what was most important was that we were all together.
My family was always very close, often spending the evenings talking as a family about events of the day, etc. Even as teenagers we would not think of leaving the house without giving our mom and dad a hug and a kiss goodbye and telling them that we loved them. As an adult, I still do not leave their house or my parents leave my house with a hug and a kiss and telling each other I love you. That said, I'm not sure I truly realized how important those family times were and just how special our family bond was until my brother's accident. That was the first year that we weren't all home for Christmas -- we celebrated Christmas that year in Hershey Rehab. While that was the last place that anyone would want to celebrate Christmas, we treasured the fact that we were celebrating as a family and that Jason had not lost his life in the accident. I don't think at that time we realized what the next twelve years would be -- maybe that was good -- it would have probably been overwhelming -- at that time we were still clinging to hope and faith that Jason would make a complete recovery from his accident. It was particularly meaningful the next year to celebrate Christmas at home as a family, even though we had the addition of nurses in the house. Jason's nurses were wonderful people who gave us the space to celebrate our Christmas Eve traditions with just our family and in return, both as a gift to them and to us, we took care of Jason on Christmas day (day shift) with just our family. In the next twelve years we celebrated most Christmas Days at home as a family, although there was at least one Christmas when Jason was in the hospital. If anyone asked me what I received for Christmas that year or what I remembered from Christmas that year, the only thing that I could say was that it was the Christmas when we didn't know if Jason was going to live or die, he was that ill. It was the Christmas before Scott and I were married -- we missed out on a bridal shower with his relatives as we no sooner got there (5 hours away), then I got the phone call to come home as they didn't think Jason would make it. I will forever remember it as the Christmas of miracles as despite doctor's predictions, Jason did make it. His health was more fragile after that hospitalization but he lived four more years.
That first Christmas after Jason died was particularly painful -- we changed everything about our Christmas celebration that year. That year my parents and Scott and I chose to do something very different from our normal celebrations. We packed up and headed to the cabin for Christmas -- we took along a tiny Christmas tree -- no taller than 2 feet. I don't remember any other Christmas decorations. There was snow on the ground and it was very quiet. I don't remember ever being at the cabin with so few other people at area cabins. The quiet and the solitude was very peaceful. I'm not sure how we would have handled Christmas that year if we had done everything that we always did when Jason was alive. Somehow, doing something so different helped to ease us through that first Christmas without him. Another thing that it accomplished -- although unintended -- was a complete focus on family and Jesus' birth. Being at the cabin, in a rural area, with very few other people around other than the few people in the little village close by, kept our focus off of the commercialism of Christmas and firmly focused on family and the hope of seeing Jason again in heaven.
As I think back over all my past Christmas experiences, I think that one of the most meaningful Christmas celebrations for me was spending that Christmas at the cabin, still hurting over the loss of Jason (even though it had been seven months), focusing on family and the importance of the strength and love in our close family. Many times traumatic events, such as the one Jason suffered, tear families apart as they don't know how to deal with their emotions, the fear of the future, and the overwhelming sense of loss of control. I would have to say that it simply brought our family closer together -- that is not to say that we didn't each struggle through our own private battles with emotions over Jason's accident. I think the most important thing that we realized subconsciously was that each of us needed the freedom to be able to deal with the emotions differently. In that sense we gave each other a safety net to heal.
I think in the twelve years that Jason survived after his traumatic accident, it served to cement in my mind the importance of Christmas, family, sacrifice, commitment, and love. I still very much treasure those times with family, especially around the holidays. My thinking about Christmas gifts has very much changed. Instead of looking for just the next best and brightest thing, I look for things that I think will mean a lot to someone, encourage some to pursue a dream, or have a special meaning. In a lot of ways this makes Christmas shopping more difficult, but there is so much more joy in seeing those gifts opened.
I have rambled for a while about my thoughts about Christmas -- I would love to hear about your experiences with Christmas over the years. I wish everyone a healthy, happy, and meaningful Christmas this year. Hug your family closer, take time to sit and talk about what is important, and most of all, remember that Jesus' birth is the real reason for the season.
My family was always very close, often spending the evenings talking as a family about events of the day, etc. Even as teenagers we would not think of leaving the house without giving our mom and dad a hug and a kiss goodbye and telling them that we loved them. As an adult, I still do not leave their house or my parents leave my house with a hug and a kiss and telling each other I love you. That said, I'm not sure I truly realized how important those family times were and just how special our family bond was until my brother's accident. That was the first year that we weren't all home for Christmas -- we celebrated Christmas that year in Hershey Rehab. While that was the last place that anyone would want to celebrate Christmas, we treasured the fact that we were celebrating as a family and that Jason had not lost his life in the accident. I don't think at that time we realized what the next twelve years would be -- maybe that was good -- it would have probably been overwhelming -- at that time we were still clinging to hope and faith that Jason would make a complete recovery from his accident. It was particularly meaningful the next year to celebrate Christmas at home as a family, even though we had the addition of nurses in the house. Jason's nurses were wonderful people who gave us the space to celebrate our Christmas Eve traditions with just our family and in return, both as a gift to them and to us, we took care of Jason on Christmas day (day shift) with just our family. In the next twelve years we celebrated most Christmas Days at home as a family, although there was at least one Christmas when Jason was in the hospital. If anyone asked me what I received for Christmas that year or what I remembered from Christmas that year, the only thing that I could say was that it was the Christmas when we didn't know if Jason was going to live or die, he was that ill. It was the Christmas before Scott and I were married -- we missed out on a bridal shower with his relatives as we no sooner got there (5 hours away), then I got the phone call to come home as they didn't think Jason would make it. I will forever remember it as the Christmas of miracles as despite doctor's predictions, Jason did make it. His health was more fragile after that hospitalization but he lived four more years.
That first Christmas after Jason died was particularly painful -- we changed everything about our Christmas celebration that year. That year my parents and Scott and I chose to do something very different from our normal celebrations. We packed up and headed to the cabin for Christmas -- we took along a tiny Christmas tree -- no taller than 2 feet. I don't remember any other Christmas decorations. There was snow on the ground and it was very quiet. I don't remember ever being at the cabin with so few other people at area cabins. The quiet and the solitude was very peaceful. I'm not sure how we would have handled Christmas that year if we had done everything that we always did when Jason was alive. Somehow, doing something so different helped to ease us through that first Christmas without him. Another thing that it accomplished -- although unintended -- was a complete focus on family and Jesus' birth. Being at the cabin, in a rural area, with very few other people around other than the few people in the little village close by, kept our focus off of the commercialism of Christmas and firmly focused on family and the hope of seeing Jason again in heaven.
As I think back over all my past Christmas experiences, I think that one of the most meaningful Christmas celebrations for me was spending that Christmas at the cabin, still hurting over the loss of Jason (even though it had been seven months), focusing on family and the importance of the strength and love in our close family. Many times traumatic events, such as the one Jason suffered, tear families apart as they don't know how to deal with their emotions, the fear of the future, and the overwhelming sense of loss of control. I would have to say that it simply brought our family closer together -- that is not to say that we didn't each struggle through our own private battles with emotions over Jason's accident. I think the most important thing that we realized subconsciously was that each of us needed the freedom to be able to deal with the emotions differently. In that sense we gave each other a safety net to heal.
I think in the twelve years that Jason survived after his traumatic accident, it served to cement in my mind the importance of Christmas, family, sacrifice, commitment, and love. I still very much treasure those times with family, especially around the holidays. My thinking about Christmas gifts has very much changed. Instead of looking for just the next best and brightest thing, I look for things that I think will mean a lot to someone, encourage some to pursue a dream, or have a special meaning. In a lot of ways this makes Christmas shopping more difficult, but there is so much more joy in seeing those gifts opened.
I have rambled for a while about my thoughts about Christmas -- I would love to hear about your experiences with Christmas over the years. I wish everyone a healthy, happy, and meaningful Christmas this year. Hug your family closer, take time to sit and talk about what is important, and most of all, remember that Jesus' birth is the real reason for the season.
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