Thoughts of Scott at Christmas

We are home again after going to the cabin with my parents and spending two days with the Bradleys.   Christmas was full of memories of Scott, laughter, and a few tears.  Yet, in the quiet moments in the car driving and sitting here at home, I feel the tears coming.  In the quiet moments it is hard to not think about all that we have lost this year with the loss of Scott.  I miss feeling his arms around me, his laugh lighting up the room, him playing with Jaelyn, and rough housing with the dogs.  It is still so hard to believe that he is gone.  I still find myself relieving the moment I heard about his death, seeing his still body at the hospital, the difficult phone calls to his friends, and breaking the news to Jaelyn.    

I am grateful that the holidays have not been somber and sad, but full of laughter – that is what Scott enjoyed the most about getting together with family and friends.  I kept imagining his laughter ringing out over everyone else’s laughter.  His mom and I were joking  after all the presents were opened and everyone was just hanging out that Scott would have had a game of cards organized and going on by that time.  Anyone who knew Scott well mostly likely experienced his love for playing cards and other games.  I remember many nights spent with Scott’s parents playing cards till 11 or 12 at night, later if we were on vacation together.  Scott taught his favorite card game to lots of his friends so he would have more opportunities to play Five Hundred.  I have joked for years that I had to learn how to play Five Hundred (not Five Hundred Rummy – Bid Five Hundred) to marry into the family.  Anytime there were at least four family members who knew how to play Five Hundred, Scott coaxed everyone into playing. 

Scott would have been outside with Emma and Jaelyn at 7:30/8:00 at night Christmas Eve playing in the snow.  He would have had a snowman built and an elaborate snow fort.  I remember our last year at Milton Hershey as houseparents, we had a lot of snow – two blizzards essentially back to back in one week, leaving about 3 feet of snow on the ground.  Our “girls” were middle school girls at that time and no longer interested in spending much time outside playing in the snow.  Anytime anyone asked me where Mr. Bradley was, my answer was to check the snow tunnels outside.  He spent hours outside (some with Jaelyn) building and expanding his igloos and snow tunnels.  I think Scott loved snow almost as much as he loved water.

I am grateful for wonderful in-laws.  A situation like Scott’s death can tear a family apart, I believe it has drawn us all closer together and more appreciative of each other.  I can truly say that they are not just Scott’s family to me, but they are my family too.