Reflections on 2012

As I sit here thinking back over 2012 I cannot believe how dramatically my life has changed in just twelve short months.  We started the year on a frustrating note, by buying a “new” used vehicle and finding out that we had bought from a disreputable dealer and that there were thousands of dollars in issues that took six to eight weeks to mostly resolve.

When we sold our rental home in York Haven in 2010, we had put the money in the bank as a cushion when we left houseparenting at Milton Hershey.  In 2012, since we both were working full-time, we decided that this money would benefit us better by paying off the mortgage on our house.  This was such a freeing feeling for both of us, at our age, to own our home outright.

Scott was working a lot of hours at the beginning of the year, once working 80 hours in one week.   At that time Scott was working PRN at Philhaven, just picking up open shifts.  Later in the year, these hours began to dry up and Scott accepted a float position at Philhaven working on the inpatient units.  He began working full-time in the float position just 2 ½ weeks before his death. 

Obviously the biggest change and shock this year came with Scott’s death.  I had chosen to take Wednesday, August 10^th off of work, since Scott was off that day, just to spend time together as a family.  We chose to spend the morning by going for a bike ride back on the Rails to Trails on Gold Mine.  It was just a perfect ride.  Usually when we would try to do bike trips, Jaelyn would moan, groan, and complain most of the trip.  This trip she had such a good attitude that both Scott and I noticed and commented on how enjoyable the ride was.   I will forever treasure that day together, both for the family time in the morning and our couple time in the afternoon. 

When I was awoken at 2:30 a.m. on August 10th by my sister-in-law, Jill, telling me of Scott’s heart attack and death, my life and Jaelyn’s life changed forever.  I will never forget the difficulty of telling Jaelyn about her daddy’s death, calling Scott’s friends, and planning his funeral.  I will forever be thankful for the outpouring of love, comfort, and care from our family and friends and the continued love, comfort, and care that we are receiving still.

The next couple of months after Scott’s death seem like not much more than a blur of getting through life.  I never imagined the complexities involved with a spouse’s death.  I am thankful for a trustworthy and Christian attorney, who knew both Scott and I personally, to walk me through the complexities of settling an estate and wading through all the paperwork. 

Then the middle of October, I sold Scott’s vehicle, his scooter, and a trailer.  Just two weeks later, I was in a car accident resulting in a totaled vehicle.  I am very grateful that it was not my fault, that there was a witness to the accident, and that because of Scott’s life insurance money, I didn’t have to wait for the checks from the insurance company, but was able to purchase another vehicle right away.

Getting through Thanksgiving and Christmas has been a roller coaster ride of laughter, tears, and lots of reflection.  As I think back over the year, obviously the event that stands out and overshadows everything else, is Scott’s death.  I can honestly say that without my faith in God and the prayers of family and friends, I’m not sure where I would be right now. 

I’m praying for a calmer 2013, with much time with family and friends.