Lori's Rambling

Today I took a major step in my grief journey.  As most of you know, either from reading my blog or knowing Scott personally, Scott was passionate about kayaking and always wanted to share his passion for kayaking with his family.  The last time I was in a kayak was a little over five years ago when we took our last kayak trip as a family.  Six years ago we bought Jaelyn her first kayak - a youth kayak.  It was six years ago today that she tried it out, kayaking independently for the first time - at six years old.  The last time she used that kayak was our last kayak trip as a family.     So today, a couple of firsts happened.  Today was the first time I was back in a kayak since before Scott’s death, five years ago.  Today was the first time that Jaelyn tried out her first adult kayak, exactly six years from the time she tried out her very first kayak.   We chose to kayak the Swatara Creek, which was also the same creek we took our...

Driving home from work today, seeing the gorgeous and dramatic clouds gave me a craving to get out tonight with my camera.  After dropping Jaelyn off at youth group, I began driving toward Indiantown Gap, not really knowing where I wanted to go.  I began feeling this pull to go to the Indiantown Gap National Cemetery.  I haven’t been there for a while, but felt a pull to be there with Scott heavy in my thoughts.   When driving into the cemetery, the clouds behind the Veteran’s Memorial and the sun shining on the front caught my attention.  Knowing how quickly clouds and light can change, I quickly pulled around so that I could get pictures.  I wasn’t out of the car but a few seconds when I heard the stirring sounds of a bagpipe echoing through the cemetery with the notes of a medley of hymns.  It was deep and clear echoing over the graves.  The beauty and peace of it sent chills down my arms.  It seemed as if time stood still whi...

The winner:  Patrick Finley This is the fourth year for the scholarship.  The winner is selected by the youth leaders and so it is awe-inspiring to see God’s hand in the selection when I hear the winner’s name and hear why they were selected.   This year has a little bit of a story to go along with it.  See, this year, about 6-8 weeks ago I finally felt ready to let go of Scott’s most prized possession — his kayak — and had posted on Facebook about it being for sale.  A few weeks ago Patrick’s mom had messaged me about Patrick possibly being interested in the kayak.  I suggested that he try it out first as it is more of a specialty kayak and not for everyone.  Patrick came a few days later with a friend to try it out.  When he returned a little later with the kayak, he was quick to say that it wasn’t for him, that he had “taken a bit of a spill.”  Having flipped a kayak myself a few years ago, as well as having seen and heard...

This is the fourth year of Scott's scholarship through our church. I am honored each year to be a part of the presentation and have an opportunity to share a few words. Each year as I try to figure out what to share with the graduates at the presentation of Scott's scholarship, it amazes me how and when God pulls my thoughts together. The first year it all came together just a few hours before the presentation - nothing like cutting it down to the wire! Another year it was a week ahead and one year it was a month ahead. Tonight I think that God pulled my thoughts together for this year's presentation - only two days ahead this time.   The other neat thing is seeing God's hand in who was selected as the winner -- and this year is no exception! You will have to come to the scholarship presentation on Sunday or check back here afterward to hear about this year's winner and hear about God's hand in the selection!  But here is a bit of history of the fi...