Lori's Rambling

  Last Sunday, before church, as we were waiting for my mom to pick Jaelyn up for church (I didn’t go because of a migraine), Jaelyn was working on memorizing a scripture for Sunday School.  The verse that she was working on was Romans 8:28 – “All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purposes.”  I asked her if she knew what the verse meant, knowing that if she understood it, it would be easier to memorize.  She wasn’t sure what it meant.  I shared how this is a verse that had been shared with me frequently since Daddy’s death.  Jaelyn asked why.  I explained that it talks about how even though Daddy’s death was difficult and we may never understand why he had to die so young, God will bring good out of it because we love Him.  I explained that this didn’t mean that Daddy had to die for good to happen, but that God can bring good out of bad things.  This conversation had me thinking abo...

  Today I decided to tackle a project that I have put off, over and over again in the last fifteen months.  I have been thinking about it off and on for about a month.   The bins were at the old house until a few months ago when I needed to move them so the old house could be rented.  I had my dad put them in the middle of the garage, thinking that this would push me to go through them in order to be able to put my car in the garage at night.  Needless to say, this wasn’t successful.  I realized that I wasn’t ready to go through the bins and rearranged the garage to accommodate the bins and my car.  Every time I would look at the bins, I would feel overwhelmed and mentally push the project aside for another time. I’m not sure what pushed me to finally tackle the project today.  Quite honestly I surprised myself that I was ready to face it, as I have been struggling lately – just feeling down.  I started with three different piles – sav...

  As many of you know, I have been wearing Scott’s wedding ring since his death.  I find great comfort in having and wearing it.  I have not been able to wear my wedding rings for many years due to weight changes and needing it resized.  I felt a deep need right after Scott’s death for that connection and in the past fifteen months his ring has rarely left my hand.  Lately I have found myself thinking about his ring.  It is comforting to feel the warmth and smoothness between my fingers when I am thinking about him or stressed out.  I would often spin it on Scott’s finger when we held hands or were sitting and talking or watching TV.  Now I find myself spinning it on my finger. Although fifteen months has gone by since Scott’s death, I find myself thinking about him more and more.  I thought that this grief journey would get easier after the first year and yet it hasn’t.   In the first year, the pain was often quite intense and ...