The Cemetery and Jaelyn

Jaelyn and I went to the cemetery this evening to see Scott’s stone.  Jaelyn did not want to go.  I had already told her that she needed to go just once to see the stone and then any trips to the cemetery after that would be up to her.  We saw quite a few deer just driving through the cemetery to get to the section where Scott is buried.  This helped distract her a little bit and she didn’t withdraw as much as she has the last couple of times we have been at the grave or just driven through the cemetery.  Jaelyn got out of the car willingly to come back to the stone.  She pointed it out to me before I had caught sight of it.  We spent about five minutes there talking about the stone.  She read the inscription aloud.  Then she was ready to go.  We talked about different gravestones on the way back to the car.  Jaelyn realized as we were walked among the stones that we were walking over people’s bodies.  I reminded her that it was simply their body, but that their spirits weren’t there anymore, just as Daddy’s body is there, but his spirit is in heaven. 

 Jaelyn was more relaxed on this trip to the cemetery than the previous three (his burial service, a trip to locate his gravesite, and a later drive through the cemetery).  Maybe this was because she was glad that she didn’t have to come back, or maybe because it was the only time that she and I were there alone and she could relax in her emotions.  We talked about missing Daddy and that he was probably up in heaven smiling and having fun.  Jaelyn is talking about missing her daddy much more often in the last week.  She shed her first tears this week since Scott’s death – at least that I am aware of.   Just a few tears, but it is a start of her expressing her emotions without holding them inside.   I think the reality of Scott being gone is hitting home for her as it is for me. 

Please continue to pray for us as we journey through our grief and face our loss.