Lori's Rambling

Over the last couple of months I have been using a devotional that goes through each of the Psalms, Proverbs, and Ecclesiastes in a year’s time – My Daily Scripture Devotional, God’s Wisdom for Today.  The Psalms have really met me where I am emotionally and have comforted and encouraged me. Tonight I was reading Psalm 31.  There were a few verses that caught my attention as being such a clear cry from a grieving heart. “I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love, because you have seen my affliction; you have known the distress of my soul, and you have not delivered me into the hand of the enemy; you have set my feet in a broad place.  Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am in distress; my eye is wasted from grief; my soul and my body also.” – Psalm 31:7-9 The author of the devotional for this chapter, Trevor Barton of Hawk Creek Church in London, Kentucky, shared, “When this is our reality, we can’t fix it or undo it.  In that moment the only thing to do is trust that God

Even though it has been two and a half years since Scott’s death, I am still sorting through his things little by little.  I have to say, by far the hardest things to sort through are all of his papers.  Seeing his handwriting is enough to bring all the emotions surging back to the surface.  For those who knew Scott well, you know that he wrote notes to himself on anything and everything he could find – empty envelopes, on the back of bills, edges of newspapers, etc.  He had a notoriously poor memory due to attention deficit disorder, thus the need to write everything down.  It is a painstaking process to read each and every piece of paper to make sure that I am not throwing away a gem of truth, a word of wisdom, or a funny story.  There are many notebooks of dreams and goals – and the research that went with them, notebooks of Bible study and spiritual truth, papers of names, addresses, etc.  Sometimes all mixed together in one notebook.  It is like getting an inside view into how hi

      Today was my Grandma Herr's funeral.  To be honest, I was dreading it.  Funerals have become extremely difficult since Scott's funeral.  Before the service began I had a chance to chat with my uncle about the healing I have seen in Jaelyn, as well as myself.  It is not an easy thing to talk about this as the tears come so easily still, especially when my emotions are so close to the surface.       I shared with my uncle that one thing I have begun to realize over the last couple of weeks is that as I have seen the significant healing in Jaelyn, I almost feel as if my grieving is just beginning.  This certainly isn't completely true, but there has been such a huge part of me tune into and focused on Jaelyn and helping her to grieve and heal that there is a part of my grieving that hasn't begun until now.  I think that putting that into words today for the first time was a huge first step.  I have been pretty deliberate and conscious of facing grief head on, not a