Lori's Rambling

I have had such a myriad of thoughts and emotions this weekend.  Yesterday I had the privilege of taking a close friend to Scott’s grave for the first time.  As I sit here thinking back over the time at the cemetery yesterday, I am struck with a few things. Being at the cemetery on Good Friday and talking about Scott’s death has really made me think about the emotions on the very first Good Friday.  I can imagine the grief and despair flooding Jesus’s friends, disciples, and family.  I don’t believe at that moment that any of them had any faith in Jesus returning from the dead.  After all, other than a few people they had not seen anyone come back from the dead – and those people were raised from the dead by Jesus’s hand. I can picture Mary and Mary Magdalene approaching the tomb after the Sabbath.  I can imagine the grief overwhelming them as they were facing the reality of Jesus’s death.  Then seeing the Angel of the Lord roll away the stone and receiving the message of Jesu

Bad news or tragedy brings the question to mind, is God really good?  That question has been raised by me and many people over the months since Scott’s death.  How could God do this?  Why take Scott and leave my grandmothers who are both in their 90’s and have lived full lives?  This is a conversation that my mom and I have had a few times in the last couple of days –in talking about recent health crisis for friends and family.  About a month ago I began reading a book entitled, “You’ll Get Through This”  by Max Lucado.  I read a few chapters and then put it down for a couple of weeks until tonight.  It really spoke to my heart and I want to share a short excerpt from the book. “Our choice comes down to this:  trust God or turn away.  He will cross the line.  He will shatter our expectations.  And we will be left to make a decision.  . . .Is God good when the outcome is not? . . . God owes us no more explanation than this.  Besides, if he gave one, what makes us think we would und

Fifteen.  Fifteen years.  Thursday would have been our fifteenth wedding anniversary.  Last year’s wedding anniversary was probably the hardest “first” that I faced and probably the only “first” that was even harder than I had anticipated.  I treasure all of the memories that we have had, but each wedding anniversary is a reminder of the future memories and special moments lost.  They are a reminder of joys and regrets.  It is amazing how much insight and wisdom we have in looking back.  I always thought that we had time to “get it right.”  But without warning or preparation, that time to “get it right” was gone.   We definitely did not have a perfect marriage – there were areas that were great and areas that needed improvement, as I’m sure any married couple could say.  Yet, we were working on those things that needed improvement.  When I look back I see my stubbornness.  Too often our areas that needed improvement, in my mind, became a battle to be won rather than a team effort to p